


Lost

by jotchLIFE



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-30
Updated: 2020-09-30
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:01:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 915
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26724835
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jotchLIFE/pseuds/jotchLIFE
Summary: ...and if things would have gone as they had planned, she would have become Jennifer Hotchner.
Relationships: Aaron Hotchner/Jennifer "JJ" Jareau
Comments: 3
Kudos: 12





	Lost

**Author's Note:**

> Just a little something I had in my head for a while. This might be my favorite storyline that I have written, but I'm not sure if I portrayed it as well as I had hoped.
> 
> For the record, there is no Henry or Michael in this story.
> 
> Song: My Wish by Rascal Flatts

Hotch knew he should be happy for JJ. After all, she was his friend, and it was her wedding day. 

He _was_ happy for her because she was happy, and she deserved all the happiness in the world… but he couldn't help but feel bitter about the wedding.

It was only three years ago that Hotch was planning a wedding with JJ… and if things would have gone as planned, she would have become Jennifer Hotchner. 

They had started a relationship, and it quickly became serious. They both loved each other whole-heartedly… but then a tragedy struck, and it tore them apart. 

Several months into JJ and Hotch's relationship, JJ found out she was pregnant. It was unexpected, but the two agents were thrilled about it.

That joy was short lived.

During JJ's second trimester, she took a rough fall… and miscarried. That devastated the couple. They wanted to stay together, maybe try again for a baby in the future. They still loved each other immensely, and they tried to make it work, but it didn't.

Everything between them was a constant reminder of what they'd lost. They grew apart. It killed JJ and Hotch to let each other go, but in the end, they knew neither would be able to heal from the loss if they didn't.

So, here they were three years later. JJ had met a SWAT officer, and fell in love with him. 

Hotch couldn't even dislike the guy. He made JJ truly happy… something she hadn't been in a long time.

That's what Hotch wanted, because JJ deserved it.. And if she couldn't be that with him anymore, then it might as well be with Officer Street. 

Hotch told himself that, over and over, but it still hurt that it wasn't him slipping a ring on JJ's finger. He tried not to be bitter, desperately tried, but a part of him just couldn't help it. However, watching JJ dance with Street, a smile on her face brighter than the sun, Hotch vowed to himself not to let that bitterness show. 

JJ truly was a beautiful bride, and Hotch couldn’t take his eyes off of her. Her and Street were still up dancing, and Hotch watched as Street whispered something to JJ and she blushed before bursting out in laughter. 

"How are you holding up?" Rossi suddenly appeared out of nowhere. 

"I'm fine, Dave." Hotch didn't turn to look at Rossi, instead the two agents continued to watch the happy couple surrounded by their friends on the dance floor. 

"Uh huh… It's me you're talking to, Aaron."

"Yes, I know it's you." Hotch sighed. "Okay, fine. Today's not a very good day for me."

"But you still came."

"Of course I did. JJ's my friend. Despite what happened, she's always going to be my best friend."

"You know-"

Hotch held up his hand. "Dave, please stop. I really don't want to do this right now."

"Go dance with her." 

"What?"

"Go dance with JJ."

Shaking his head, Hotch softly smiled as Derek spun JJ around to a particularly upbeat song. "I really don't think that's such a good idea."

"If you're as good of friends as you say, what's the harm in sharing a dance? Aaron, you may not get this chance again."

Hotch knew it probably wasn't a good idea, but the chance to hold JJ in his arms one last time won out. Without saying another word to Rossi, Hotch approached the blonde after she finished her dance with Morgan. 

He was glad to hear a slower song start playing, so he gently touched JJ on the shoulder to grab her attention. "May I have this dance?" 

Hotch could tell JJ was surprised, but she smiled and took his outstretched hand. His other arm went around her waist, while JJ placed her other hand on his shoulder.

_I hope the days come easy and the moments pass slow_   
_And each road leads you where you want to go_   
_And if you're faced with a choice and you have to choose_   
_I hope you choose the one that means the most to you_   
_And if one door opens to another one closed_   
_I hope you keep on walkin' till you find the window_   
_If it's cold outside, show the world the warmth of your smile_   
_But more than anything, more than anything_

They held each other close for a few moments before Hotch spoke up. "You look beautiful, JJ, and this is a lovely wedding."

"Thank you, Aaron. I'm glad you're here. Are you okay?"

"Are you happy?"

"Yes."

"Then I'm okay. I want you to be happy, JJ, more than anything."

JJ nodded, and it looked like she had tears in her eyes. "Thank you," she whispered, "I want that for you too."

Hotch just pulled her closer, knowing it was the last time he'd be able to hold her.

_My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to_   
_Your dreams stay big and your worries stay small_   
_You never need to carry more than you can hold_   
_And while you're out there getting where you're getting to_

When the song ended, he let her go. He shook Street's hand before leaving without a word to anybody else. Only then did he let a single tear roll down his cheek, for everything he had lost.

_I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too_   
_Yeah, this is my wish_


End file.
